Some more useful ideas
6 Use or Loose
Use your previous skills to enhance what you can still do. I gave one example in the previous blog post about being organised and thinking ahead. Those were two skills I leant and enhanced throughout a career managing nursing homes and charities. I gained computer skills over 30 years ago and am still learning. I’ve taught others to use social media, basic spreadsheet knowledge and how to manage databases, all from my bed.
My carers keep everything tidy and my bedroom has all my computer kit and books to hand. People are taken aback at first, but soon understand when I explain that lying in bed reduces my pain levels and enables me to do more.
7 It’s your pain
Only you know what you can and can’t do without being in pain. It’s your pain – no one else knows how bad it is. Pain is telling you something, it’s telling your body to stop. Listen to your body, learn what triggers your pain or muscle spasms. When your body says stop, take notice.
Please, don’t be bullied by professionals who tell you differently or that you are not trying hard enough. It’s your body – not theirs. I know there is a theory of breaking though a pain barrier – but you are not an elite athlete! Treat yourself and your body carefully.
8 Learn who to ignore
Find a way of dealing with the idiots who will ask you stupid questions. For me this is difficult, I have a low idiot tolerance level. I’m also very good at thinking up an answer 5 minutes after I’ve turned away from the idiot in question. I’ve had senior doctors ask why I’m using a wheelchair, judt because they didn’t look at my notes properly.
I have several different medical conditions which mean I need to use my chair all of the time. When I’m asked what’s wrong with me by a non-medical person, I usually quote the two main reasons, then say, ‘But there’s several others too…….’ the look on the other person’s face usually means I’m kind to them and say nothing more. However I have friends who will respond to that question with ‘………and why have you got such bad dress sense?’ It works for them, I’m not so brave.
9 Ask for help
One thing that disabled people know lots about is disability. Whether it’s dealing with pain, how understanding how your local Social Services work or getting a good wheelchair. Through years of experience and learning the hard way – we have lots of knowledge and most of us are really happy to share it. It’s the same when choosing a GP or knowing which care agency actually cares. Don’t be afraid to ask. If we know we will tell you and if we don’t know the answer, we’ll probably know someone who will.
Know the websites to use, Benefits and Work, for everything you need to know about DLA, ESA, PIP and more. Turn to Us, Benefits eligibility checker and great advice on where to get more help. Radar, the best site for finding out your rights.
10 Be an expert
Understand your condition and the effects it has on your body. Understand your medications too and learn about interactions. For some people being part a local group with a national organisation is brilliant. My friend Val who has MS really benefits from going to her local group and being part of the MS Society. You may just want to get a regular newsletter or magazine and know there is a helpline if you need it.
Know your legal rights – if you live in the U.K. – the Equality Act 2010 is the main legislation to understand. If you are in the US it’s the Americans with Disabilities Act 1990.
If you are able, campaign in some way to change thinking and attitudes. I do and through that I’ve met a great bunch of people and we support each other too.